- By Santhoshi Bhadri
For example, Nobita sees his best friend, Shizuka, talking with his rival, Degisuki. Who likes it when the person they love the most interacts with the person they hate the most? I doubt if anybody does. Nobita starts wondering: what work can Shizuka have with Degisuki? Why would they have the need to talk? Are they very good friends now? These thoughts and assumptions just fill up involuntarily. Now he starts feeling angry and sad about it. Acting on these emotions, he decides to give a cold shoulder to Shizuka, resulting in an argument. Did you notice how an event triggered thoughts, which then gave birth to emotions, resulting in the way he responded? So, what is the activating event, behavior, and consequence in the above example?
We have built our beliefs since our childhood, through experiences, lessons, observations, etc. Now we carry and apply these beliefs in every situation that we are in. This mostly happens automatically, without being aware of it. Unknowingly, we form beliefs, assumptions, judgments, that are not healthy or that are not valid. Our friend, Nobita might be operating out of the belief that his best friend should share his dislike that he has towards his rival. That might be where the whole problem had started!
Once we understand the beliefs that we’re functioning out of, we can start working on modifying them. If our beliefs or unhealthy thinking patterns were changed to healthy beliefs and thoughts, our perception (the way we feel) of the entire situation would change. This would avoid undesirable emotions, preventing any negative consequences in our life.
About the Author
Santhoshi is a psychology student. She believes in empathy as the greatest gift we, as humans, can possess and that it can elevate humanity. Her life mantra is "to find beauty in the humblest things."